


Love is Not Without Hurt

by SummySwan



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, I can't write Pliroy without angst, I need to write fluff my god, M/M, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, Scarring, So much angst my god, Soulmates, Yaoi, Yuri on Ice - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 19:25:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10577919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummySwan/pseuds/SummySwan
Summary: "You can stay at my place, I don't think I can leave you alone this drunk." Jean sighed, obviously exasperated and tired."What, think I would kill myself or something?" Yuri smirked, surprised when the other actually stopped, staring at him."Have you thought of doing that before?" The question was pensive, almost like the Canadian thought that he wouldn't answer honestly while he was pretty much shit-faced."I almost overdosed on pain medication when you and your wife were fucking too much on your honeymoon, but otherwise no." He sighed, smile leaving his face as he felt a little bit grim talking about it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I found this laying around in my drafts, and it seemed decent enough to post so; Enjoy this 3K total angst fic, because I love the idea of soulmates and one being married to someone else.

He had already accepted it, the fact that he would have no soulmate.

It wasn't that he didn't have one, sadly he wasn't that lucky. In fact, he had a soulmate that was madly in love with someone else, which was far worse than not ever having one. The pain he constantly felt, when his soulmate touched his different lover, was something indescribable. It would start with a small itch then morph into a searing pain while he coughed up blood, crying as he kept up emotional walls to keep from the other feeling it.

Yuri had been quite shocked when he had found out that his soulmate was Jean Jeaques Leory, his rival. The Canadian had taken a couple of years to figure it out, and when he did it wasn't need to be said that they would never be together. But Yuri already knew from practices where he would fall down screaming in sheer pain and agony, and he knew that the other was being intimate with someone else.

In fact, Jean being with Isabella was worse than when he brought a female to his place once a week. He had gained scars on his once flawless body, little marks scattered on his body, and Yuri had even knocked himself out multiple times by taking too much pain medication. It was a viscous cycle, one that he went though that only his coaches, Mila, and Georgi knew about. Sadly, the two on the latter found out from when he broke down sobbing while he was on the ice one day.

Thankfully though, Jean had never done anything during Yuri's performances, otherwise the media would have had a field day with it. And also, having Victor and his dumb husband up his ass about it wouldn't be fun. He knew them both, sadly, very well and could say one hundred percent that they would make him talk to Jean. Telling your soulmate, who wants nothing to do with you, that he couldn't have sex with his wife would definitely *not* go over well.

Actually, having these thoughts while he was out drinking the week before a major competition wasn't smart. Then again, he was now nineteen and could drink- okay so *technically* he was supposed to be twenty one, but he lived in Russia and frankly no one gave a damn there. But the dumb competition was in Canada, which is where he was at the moment, and he knew that Jean was in the town thanks to his skin feeling warm. Then again, that could have been the six shots he had taken so far, but whatever.

"Oi, gimme another shot." He called out to the bartender, words definitely not slurring because he could fucking handle his liquor, unlike a majority of the people here.

The bartender raised his eyebrow but handed him one, the blond shot-gunning it in two seconds. Slamming it down, he shook his head while his body felt looser, and he frankly didn't have the energy to hold up the barrier between his and the asshole's emotions. As soon as he let it down, he felt the other freak out along and tons of stress and confusion. Yuri could not help it; He bursted out laughing, feeling the other grow even more freaked out.

"Kid, are you okay?" The bartender asked, his old age showing through as his curved eyebrows showed wrinkles.

"I let my emotions go to my soulmate," Yuri choked through his laughter, "And he's so-so freaked out!" 

The old man gave him a worried look, pausing before he spoke, "You need me to call him or something? I don't think you can get home like that-"

But Yuri was a little loose lipped thanks to the scotch he had downed, and snorted out, "He's probably sleeping with his wife right now." 

The bartender looked horrified at the words, and Yuri started laughing at the expression on his face. The blond was a laughing drunk, and found even depressing shit funny, which was a stark contrast to his normal self. But laughing like this was a rarity, something he only got to do when he was drunk. He couldn't even remember the last time he had laughed sober, which was another thing that made him laugh harder.

The alcohol made his lungs might tighter and hard to breathe in, so he was wheezing and out of breath after a good minute of laughing. His blurry mind was able to register the door to the bar being opened, but he definitely noticed the grab on his shoulder because it *burned.* And he couldn't help but giggle when he looked up and saw his soulmate, huffing and obviously had ran to the bar.

"JJ, welcome!" He laughed, not noticing the way the other had taken a scolding look.

"I cannot believe that you are out drinking the week before a competition!" Jean snapped, hair in disarray while his clothes were some old sweatpants that weren't meant to be shown to the outside world.

"You look like you were sleeping." Yuri slurred.

"I *was* before someone woke me up." Jean grumbled, running a hand through his hair.

"When I drink I can't hide my emotions from you anymore, that's why." The blond answered honestly, giving a wave to the bartender as he stood up.

But he felt Jean wrap an arm around his waist, supporting him as the man said something to the bartender, not that Yuri cared. Wanting to go on an adventure, he stepped forward quickly, the other keeping up his fast pace as he wobbled out of the bar. He was a little too tipsy to even stop the other from helping him, and he was surprised to feel Jean pull him to the right, the opposite direction of his apartment.

"You can stay at my place, I don't think I can leave you alone this drunk." Jean sighed, obviously exasperated and tired. 

"What, think I would kill myself or something?" Yuri smirked, surprised when the other actually stopped, staring at him.

"Have you thought of doing that before?" The question was pensive, almost like the Canadian thought that he wouldn't answer honestly while he was pretty much shit-faced.

"I almost overdosed on pain medication when you and your wife were fucking too much on your honeymoon, but otherwise no." He sighed, smile leaving his face as he felt a little bit grim talking about it.

Jean sucked in a breath, before he picked up Yuri, struggling a little thanks to the fact that Yuri was now only slightly shorter to him. But Yuri didn't have shit tons of muscle, so his soulmate didn't seem to have an issue with carrying him.

"I'm pretty light-weight, aren't I?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"In both ways." Jean sighed, stiffening a little when Yuri bursted out laughing, hands looping around the Canadian's neck as he beamed up at him.

"I feel super happy when I'm with you, even if we fight n' stuff." Yuri suddenly spoke, pressing the side of his face into the other's chest, smile not leaving his lips as he said something completely embarrassing without a second of thought.

He was surprised to see JJ blush at the words, and the streetlights that were dimly lit showed it well enough. They continued on walking, Yuri giggling every couple of moments as they made their way down the street. It was at least around two AM so thankfully no one was lurking around for juicy gossip photos.

The blond drifted in and out on the way back, and before he knew it, he was being layed down on a really soft couch, lights shining brightly above him. But he felt the warmth move away and he grumbled, eyes opening as he tried to cling to the other. Even though the other was able to pull away, he still felt like he needed to say something to try to get his soulmate to stay.

"Noooo~!" He whined, words slurring, "Don't weave meee!" 

"Yuri, I'm married." Jean frowned, staring down at the blond who was laying all over the soft plush.

"Why didn't you marry me?" The words slipped out of Yuri's mouth before he had even thought, in fact he didn't care at this point.

"You should try to sleep." The Canadian tried to persuade the other softly, completely avoiding the question.

"Do you know how much it hurt when you ignored me after finding out?" Yuri's eyes were now not blurry from being drunk, but from tears. "Am I really that bad?"

Jean was silent, before he reached down to the end of the couch, grabbing a blanket. He pulled it up to the drunk man's hips, eyes softening as the other started to cry a little. He hadn't ever really thought of the other, he figured that Yuri hated him and that he was with someone else. Never had he thought that he other wanted to date him, or actually liked being around him.

Not that this changed anything, because he still had a wife. But he couldn't help but frown, because how had the younger known about his honeymoon and why did he talk about emotional barriers? He had heard rare cases where some soulmates felt what the other was doing, or felt pain when the other was cheating, but that was it.

Suddenly, while staring at the whimpering person in front of him, his *soulmate* right in front of him, Jean had a terrible realization. Because Yuri must have been one of those souls, one of the people with a rare condition in which they felt pain. The Canadian hesitantly pulled up the ends of the other's shirt, and tore his hand away as soon as he saw scars marred all over.

"Are those from me?" His voice cracked, staring at the blond.

He didn't get a reply, just Yuri's hand trying to reach out for him, eyes still shiny. It was very wrong, but he took the other's hand, pulling him up and carrying him to his bedroom. Jean couldn't find it in himself to deny the other at least one night of laying together, not after what he saw.

It wasn't cheating if they weren't doing anything together, and from the way that Yuri smiled at him sleepily, not crying anymore, he couldn't feel guilty. The door was already open as he lay the other down, plopping down next to him on the kind sized bed, face still frowning. But then he was being pulled into warm arms, Yuri nuzzling up to him, already sleeping in a matter of seconds.

His wife had to go to her best friend's wedding, and hadn't come along with him. He considered himself lucky; Not that he was doing anything, just that it would be harder to explain. Jean himself cringed at the terrible lie, knowing that it was wrong either way, because he shouldn't be sleeping with anyone, not matter what the circumstances were.

But he was exhausted, and it was way too fucking late, so he passed out, unconsciously nuzzling his nose into soft blond hair.

 

Yuri woke up to complete and utter bliss. He had been drinking the night before, but right now he didn't feel a thing, except for the warm arms around him, and soft breaths above him. His legs were entangled with Jean's, because the only reason he would feel this safe was because of his soulmate. His own arms were pressed up against abs, the other's shirt having risen up, and damn did that feel nice.

Wait...what?

Yuri stiffened, mind whirring as he thought back to last night. All he remembered was getting shit piss drunk and then Jean finding him at a bar, the rest was about as gone as his non-existent hangover. Normally he would scream at something like this, but he was *way* too comfortable. Should he really second guess this type of thing anyways?

He already knew this would never fucking happen again, he did beg the other not to leave- *shit.* He groaned at the realization, memories coming back to him, and he could feel his body heat up. He was most definitely blushing when the other subconsciously pulled him closer, fingers grazing just over the lower part of Yuri's back, the blond shivering slightly as he was incased in complete and utter bliss.

Hearing the other's shift in breathing and feeling the other's feeling of sleepiness, he blushed, looking up right in time as the other woke up.

"Morning." He awkwardly stated, their noses only a centimeter apart.

In a split second the other had jumped up and fallen back, flopping onto the floor as he screeched, his pointer finger wagging at Yuri. His feelings were surprise, and there was very surprisingly a small amount of arousal, but Yuri must have been mistaking it for his own. He couldn't help the small smirk of amusement as he hopped off the bed, even though his cheeks were obviously very red. 

"Christ JJ," He sighed, yawning as he rubbed his eyes, "Stop freaking out, I was drunk last night, that's it."

The Canadian went silent, staring blankly at him, and Yuri could feel anxiousness starting to slowly but surely roll off of him, the other most definitely freaking out internally.

"I don't expect anything of you," Yuri quickly assured him again, frowning when the anxiousness from him got worse, "Just forget it, I was obviously drunk."

Jean was completely quiet, and Yuri felt a surge of anger and worry coming from the other. Shit, was the dude the type that thought cuddling was cheating or something? Hiding his mirrored feelings of anxiousness, he moved towards the other, frowning as his own emotions started to grow with turmoil.

The other suddenly popped up from the carpet, grabbing Yuri's shoulders and shoving him onto the bed, the blond's legs accidentally being pried apart. If this was another situation he would blush, but Jean's eyes filled with fury and hurt, his lips trembling.

"Why didn't you tell me you felt pain?!" The other screamed in his face, Yuri's eyes widening as more memories from the previous night came to him.

"JJ it's fine-!" He tried to calm the other down, his own walls weakening from the intensity of emotion from Jean's soul.

But the other yanked up his shirt halfway, revealing the blond's lie with nasty scars printed all over his skin, retched marks all over his entire chest. Some of them were small little nicks while other ones were a good couple of inches, ranging from purple to black or sometimes even orange. 

Jean's eyes softened while they both didn't say a thing, and he felt such guilt that even Yuri felt guilty. His tan fingers traced over the scars, both going deadly silent as his eyes were hardened, lips still trembling. Yuri was shocked to feel that JJ had put up his walls, not knowing how he had perfectly done it on his first try, maybe he had unconsciously done it? His hands reached up and cupped the other's face, easily gaining Jean's attention before he spoke.

"Jean, it's *okay*." He sighed, voice sounding even sad to himself as he tried to help the other, not realizing in that moment that he had spoken the other's full name.

"It's not okay," Jean's voice was calmer now, but more serious than Yuri had ever heard it, "I hurt you." The Canadian looked so upset by this that Yuri couldn't find himself able to control his walls, emotions leaking out as he trembled, eyes slightly watery.

"It's fine, I'm okay." He still tried to convince the other even though he was almost crying, because damn he didn't want Jean to feel like this, to feel this sad.

Nothing had prepared him for when Jean pulled downward and softly kissed his stomach, mouth pressing against a spot where a scar was. Yuri's entire face lit up bright red, his eyes not watering anymore, and the other continued to kiss every nick and mark, pushing up his shirt more and more, hands sliding over his body like he was touching a fragile silk.

"JJ, knock it off." He choked out, his mind and body going crazy because he was being touched for once.

"*Jean!*" He snapped, face going dark red as the other went a little too close to his chest, hands pressing at the man's face, finally getting him to stop.

"Doing this is intimate stuff, you're married dumbass!" Yuri hissed, reminding the other that this wasn't good to do.

But Jean just stared at his body, and Yuri felt a strong emotion coming from him, and couldn't deny that it was lust. His body shivered under the gaze, and fuck he had wanted this attention for years. But looking down at JJ's hands, he saw a silver wedding ring, and that's when Yuri snapped.

He pulled his hand back, and whipped the other across the face, *hard.*

"You're fucking married," Yuri cried out, "And we may be soulmates but- but you love *her*, not me. You chose to be with her, don't change your mind because you feel pity for me!"

And Jean was shocked, sinking down onto Yuri's chest, sudden sniffles cutting off anything else that the blond was going to say. He felt from the other grief and sadness, and Yuri knew it was his fault, because he decided to get fucking drunk and dragged the other into his mess.

"I don't even know anymore-I just-" Jean was babbling, mouth pressing on Yuri's bare chest and the smaller one couldn't help but shudder a little, but he pulled the other closer, his shirt awkwardly ruffled up to his neck. 

"Do you mind if I pull my shirt back down?" He blushed, Jean pulling away and shoving it down before Yuri could peep another word out, and then he plopped back onto Yuri's chest.

'He smells good.' A voice spoke in his head, that was most definitely Jean's.

Yuri's eyes bulged, and the Canadian looked up at him in confusion, eyes still glassy.

'Can you hear me?' Yuri tested out.

'What the hell?!' Jean snapped internally.

"What the actual fuck." Yuri spoke out loud, confusion in his voice until he realized, "I think it's since we both aren't hiding our emotions." 

'He has nice lips, so pink.' Jean's voice suddenly purred in his head, and Yuri blushed dark red, hands darting up to his lips.

'You can hear that too?!' Jean shrieked inside his head, while externally he hid his face into Yuri's chest, both cherry colored.

'You still have your legs in-between mine, you know.' His mind supplied helpfully to his soulmate, thighs unconsciously trembling a little.

'I think I'm gonna need to have a talk with my wife.' Jean spoke inside their mind-dome thingy, 'Because this is a very strange situation.'

'Not as strange as how much you must workout to keep those rock-hard abs-SHIT!' Yuri screamed, 'Fuck he's gonna hear my internal monologue now, and I'm going to keep saying shit about his really nice muscles-'

Jean chuckled on top of him, finally revealing his face fully as he stared down at Yuri, an amused smile finally gracing his lips. Both awkwardly darted their eyes away after a moment though, embarrassed as hell and trying to think of anything other then their position, both blushing still because they could hear each-other's thoughts.

"Um." Yuri spoke, putting up a barrier to stop the amount of extreme awkwardness.

"Anyways..." Jean sniffed, both a little drained from the argument, "Want some coffee?"

"Sure."

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, kind of an awkward note to end it on, lol. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I would just like to say that I LOVE Isabella's character, and I hope it didn't come across like I was dragging her or JJ's relationship. I've wanted to do this AU for a long time with this ship, but my apologies if it upset anyone.
> 
> Again, thank you for the continuous support!<3


End file.
